DID YOU JUST CALL ME WITH YOUR BUTT?

Calling someone with your butt is not the same as drunk dialing but they both can have dire consequences and should be avoided.

One of the funny little things about having a cell phone with a redial button is how often you can accidentally hit that button and call whoever you called last. It happens at our house with frequency. The phone rings, we see it's my husband Jeff's cell number, we answer and all we hear is a muffled crowd sound or street sounds.

It happens enough that we have a routine and it goes like this:

Kid answers phone: Hello? Hello? HELLOOOOO??? DAAAAD ARE YOU THERE?

Kid hangs up: It was Dad, he just called us with his butt.

Lilly once added an "Anchorman" reference to the scene by shouting into the phone "Dad, if you're in Milwaukee, bark twice!"

Once or twice Jeff has called me with his butt when he's at the bar. Fortunately, he has been covered under the full-disclosure law and I didn't hear anything going on I wasn't aware of.

That was not the case for a friend of mine. Her husband is in sales. He spends a lot of nights out entertaining clients. One night, while she was home doing kid duty with three kids under eight he phoned and told her he'd be later than expected. The darn client wanted to stay out later and what could he do? She wasn't happy, it was about the 27th night in a row she'd put the kids to bed by herself and it was already midnight but she said fine and hung up. About ten minutes later the phone rang. No one was on the other line but she could hear the distinct sounds of a bar in full party mode. Then she heard her husband say, "Hey guys! Who wants one more, I'm buying. Come on, you can have one more!" The conversation went on. It was clear that the client was not insisting on staying out later but her husband sure was. Unfortunately for him, he had just called her back by accidentally hitting the redial button as he set his phone on the bar.

Wasn't he surprised when he showed up at the door at 3:00 am to be met by his wife as she left the house to check herself into a fancy downtown hotel for the day. "The kids need to be driven to school in about, oh, four hours, and the rest of the schedule is on the counter. I'll be home in time for dinner unless a 'client' wants me to stay out late."

I'm pretty sure he makes sure his phone is off when he's at the bar since that time.

It's a good policy for us all.