TEXTING 1-2-3

Today's post comes to you courtesy of Lilly, my 13-year-old. Basically, I will just post a text she sent me and you will laugh and I will not have to write much at all.

I just need to set it up.

So last week she wanted to go on a sleep-over. She's not a big sleep-over kid and it was at the home of some friends I don't know well in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. So naturally I had a lot of questions, most of which are pretty useless because in the end you let them go but it's what you do when you're a mom and want to at least pretend you have some control over a situation.

Me: Are you sure you want to sleep over? You aren't big on that.

Lilly: Yeah, I really want to. By the way, they have an indoor pool and want to know if it's okay with you to swim.

Me: Umm, I guess. But you aren't a strong swimmer. Who will supervise?

Lilly: (rolling her eyes) We're 13 there will be no supervisors. Do you send a supervisor with me to the community pool?

Me: Uhh, I guess not. Can you at least have a swim buddy? You know, just tell a friend you aren't a great swimmer and it's her job to keep an eye on you.

Lilly: Yeah. Yeah I'll do that (making a face that clearly says she would not do that if I put a gun to her head). Geez, when did you become Tiger Mom?

Me: It's just that, you know, that's the neighborhood where the candy heiress, Helen Brach disappeared.

Lilly: When?

Me:1977

Lilly: Yeah. Bad neighborhood.

In the end we sent her off to the sleep over in the mansion. A real mansion by the way, not a McMansion. Later that night I texted her and asked if she was okay. Here is her response:

Text: Well, we had to fend off many murderous multi-billionaires and the waters in the pool were rough. But no worries. Not dead yet. I informed Mrs. Levi that she must supervise me at all times (even when we are sleeping) and told the other kids not to roughouse in the shallow end where I have been all night. I also reminded them we can only watch something rated G...maybe PG if we are feeling up to something on the raunchy side. Oh yes, and I also reminded them that Jesus Christ is my savior, since they are Jewish and all. So there are no issues.

Good night, Mommy.


Good night, Lilly.